| The Lions Bill 2003
Public Act 2003 No 1 Date of assent To be
confirmed Commencement see section 2
Contents
1. Title 2. Commencement
Part 1
Purposes, principles and provisions of general application
Preliminary provisions
3 Purposes 4 Interpretation 5 Application of this Act 6 Penal enactments not to have retrospective effect to disadvantage of offender
Purposes and principles of drinking behaviour
7 Purposes of drinking or otherwise dealing with non-drinkers 8 Principles of drinking or otherwise dealing with non-drinkers
The Lions Parliament of New Zealand enacts as follows:
1 Title This Act is the Lions Act 2003.
2 Commencement This Act comes into force on a date to be appointed by the Chief Lion by order in the Lions Council.
Part 1 Purposes, principles and provisions of general application
Preliminary provisions
3 Purposes The purposes of this Act are- (a) to set the guidelines by which fellow Lions should deregulate their own behaviour and ensure the conformity of other Lions to a similar pattern of drunken immoral behaviour; and (b) to promote these practices and aid in the public’s understanding of Lions drinking habits by providing principles and guidelines to be applied by the Lions Court in sentencing and otherwise dealing with those who offend against established standards of behaviour namely raucous heckling at innocent bystanders; excessive consumption of alcohol; harassment of members of the opposite sex; near-death consequences following a night out.
4 Interpretation (1) In this Act, unless the context otherwise requires,- 25th of the month means any date when any Lion wants to drink and is not restricted to the said date Meeting up for a drink means getting absolutely shit faced with no regard for the future it does not include- i. having only one beer ii. having a non-alcoholic beverage even if that is because the Lion met up ‘for a drink’ the night before, being ‘the 25th’ and had no regard for the future upon that occasion.
5 Application of this Act (1) This Act binds the Lion (2) Subject to section 6, this Act applies to offences committed before or after the commencement date.
6 Penal enactments not to have retrospective effect to disadvantage of offender (1) An offender has the right if convicted of an offence in respect of which the penalty has been varied between the commission of the offence and the sentencing, to the benefit of the lesser offence.
Purposes and principles of Drinking
7 Purposes of drinking or of otherwise dealing with non-drinkers (1) The purposes for which the Lion Court may sentence or otherwise deal to an offender are- (a) to hold the offender accountable for conduct contrary to the spirit of the Lions (b) For displaying poor drinking habits which typically include, excessive display of sobriety after 8pm, excessive politeness while UI, Frugality with money while in town, regular early departures from Lion social gatherings (c) To denounce the conduct for which the offender was involved (d) To deter the offender or other persons from committing the same or similar offence (e) To generally encourage and foster New Zealand’s binge drinking culture in a way which makes it socially and politically acceptable to be “up to the eyeballs” in public on a regular basis (f) To sanction those who seek to frustrate the purpose of this Act (g) A combination of 2 or more of the purposes in paragraphs (a) to (f) (2) To avoid doubt, nothing about the order in which the purposes appear in this section implies that any purpose referred to must be given greater weight than any other purpose referred to.
7 Principles of drinking or otherwise dealing with offenders In sentencing or otherwise dealing with an offender the Lion court – (a) must take into account the gravity of the offending and the degree of culpability of the offender; and (b) must take into account the seriousness of the type of offence in comparison with other types of offences, as indicated by the maximum penalties prescribed for the offences; and (c) must take into account the degree to which the offending has threatened to fracture the throne of immorality upon which the Lion proudly stands; and (d) must impose the most restrictive outcome that is appropriate in the circumstances to the extent that the offender is remorseful and will be deterred from committing a similar offence again
This piece of draft legislation is designed to stimulate debate around the framework under which the Lion community can operate. It is merely a humble opinion and invites the criticism of the the Lion Parliament and the most valued and respected comments of my learned colleague, Lord Parish of Thorndon.
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